beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and sometimes in the eye of the beholdee…

It is summer. Therefore, I shall halfheartedly apologize for the my delinquency to blog.

Things to note about the summer thus far:

  • I have eaten a lot of hamburgers and ice cream
  • I have already had a week & a half of vacation
  • I went to Regina (of all places) to get out of the city
  • I have eaten a lot of pizza and m&m’s (the pretzel kind, the raspberry kind, the coconut kind, the regular kind……etc.)
  • My two Aunties from Toronto are in visiting and we have gotten waterlogged in the pool and sun tanned. We are going for fish and chips tomorrow (which is really today because it’s already tomorrow, get me?)
  • I had 8 inches lopped of my locks after years of growing it. It was sad and liberating. And no one noticed…well, okay, a couple people have, but…when you get like a foot cut off your hair it’s kind of a big deal. Ah well…
  • I have probably gained 10 lbs. No lie. And also, to be expected due to all the eating.

I was at work today and in my wandering around I kept catching glimpses of myself in whatever mirror or reflective surface I came upon. Most of my friends would laugh and find this completely typical of me as I’m a tiny bit over concerned that one hair on my head has changed position. Now you see, as per my list above I have gained weight. Summer, bathing suits, poolside living….yeah, not the best time to be adding ten pounds more. I have been very critical of myself, experienced a lot of self loathing and continued to eat those damn m&m’s!!!

Today, when I walked past the mirror I was worried about what my newly shorn hair looked like in a tiny little pony-tail. I thought to myself: “you know what, I don’t look half bad. I actually look pretty”. You know how people always say that if you say one negative thing about yourself you should follow it by like ten good things about yourself? Or whatever it is “those people” say. It’s something like that anyways. I decided to just keep telling myself that I’m pretty until I start to believe it. I’m just so tired of hating myself and picking myself apart. I don’t want to compare myself to other girls because those girls hate things about themselves too. Everyone seems too, even the ones we think are perfect.

So ladies, (if there are a few out there reading this blog) do yourself a favour and tell yourself you’re pretty. Find something you appreciate about your looks and compliment yourself. Do it as many times as you want until you really start to believe it. And don’t be cocky about it. A cocky girl is pretty on the outside but needs some adjusting on the inside. I’m learning the lesson of confidence slowly but surely.

I’m pretty.

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