Oh man, I’m doing a terrible job at keeping the pace of this 30 Days of Thankfulness moving. I think I was a bit overzealous. Perhaps I should have made it 7 Days of Thankfulness? I don’t know if I should continue to plug along with the happiness or not. It’s not that I can’t think of 30 things which I am thankful for, it’s more that I just haven’t had/made the time to sit down and blog about them. Either way, tonight I wanted to take some time to be thankful for forgiveness. A bit ironic as I’m sitting here in stewing over and argument I just had and having a very difficult time getting over it.
It’s an excuse; an excuse I’d love to figure out how to overcome, but an excuse nonetheless: It’s just how I am. You know how some people can have an argument in one moment and then ten minutes they’re laughing with the person they were just shouting at? Yeah, not me at all. All my feelings sit very heavy in the middle of my chest, my mind goes on an infinite loop of angry thoughts, sometimes I want to scream or start throwing things (for the record: I don’t think I’ve ever thrown anything) and I can’t seem to snap out of it. Of course, not only am I stewing about whatever it is that’s making me so angry at the moment, I always throw in anger towards myself for being so mean and stubborn. I’ve always longed to be one of those people that subscribe to the “fight right” approach. Bah! I don’t know what that means?! What does that look like? All I know is, if there’s going to be a fight I better have all my proverbial guns loaded and be prepared to verbally take out my opponent come what may. I don’t know why or how I became this way, but it is what it is and it needs to change.
Lately when I’m feeling like I’m obsessing over something or feeling depressed or anxious I hop online and self diagnose. Not the best, but sometimes helpful. Tonight I googled “how to get over anger” and I found this article which was the nice glass of cold water in the face that I needed.
You too can glean from this little nugget of wisdom: HERE.
“He who has been forgiven much, forgives much. He who has been forgiven little, forgives little.” – The Bible
I know that in my life I have been forgiven of so much. Right, so….. time to get over it.